Infidelity is one of the most painful issues that a couple can deal with. There are feelings of betrayal, worry, anxiety and anger that swirl out of control after finding out that a lover has been unfaithful. Since everyone has different personalities it is very difficult to have a one size fits all plan to mend the relationship and return the couple to a loving plateau. This is not to say that it is impossible, but something that must be addressed with care and caution! Here is a little more about fixing a relationship after infidelity.
Dealing with infidelity is a complicated issue, as there are so many thoughts and feelings. In the beginning the person may have trouble believing that their partner would actually have an intimate relationship with another. For others they are angry that their lover has stooped to cheat on them. What ever the specifics it is important that the couple begin repairing the relationship immediately. The longer the gap in time, the less likely the couple is to have a positive and healthy relationship. In order to move from pure anger to a forgiving mode the first step is in the admittance that there is a problem. Obviously there is something in the relationship that needs to be addressed. Counseling or mediation can help tremendously in this area because there is an unbiased third party that helps the couple sort through the issues.
Another effective tool for dealing with infidelity is for the couple to address their lifestyle and interfering factors. In many cases it is outside forces that cause one partner to be unfaithful to the other. It may be a co-worker, financial troubles or simply issues between the couple themselves. If these issues can be pointed out and addressed the couple stands a chance of surviving. Of course the other man or woman must be completely removed from the picture. There can be no contact of dealings with the offending party, because there will be years of mistrust and jealousy within the relationship. This is a given and must be the first thing to change! In cases where the “other” woman or man is a fixture in life it is important to set clear boundaries. Any contact or dealings must be purely business and not personal contact or conversation.
The jealousy and mistrust that ensues after an extra marital affair is sometimes one of the most difficult things to over come. There is generally issues of questioning, checking up on and other behaviors that reassure the offended party. This is normal and only to be expected. The couple that is working on their relationship after an affair must have an open book policy. No secrets and they must weather the storm of questioning, without hesitation or getting angry. This is important because it is the only way that trust can be rebuilt. Time and honesty will allow the couple to continue with their relationship, but without it they will likely perish.
There is some truth in this.. but this can also only be achieved, when the person who is hurt, consciously STOP pointing fingers at the other party who has materialised the affair.
ReplyDeleteThere is one saying someone told me before, "When a man is happy with his proton saga, he will not even look at a ferrari."
Both parties willing to accept their own responsibility can also contribute to help the relationship step up to a more honest and stable ground.
Yes, I totally agree with you
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